Anger is a primary human emotion, and when we are feeling it, these feelings can be genuine to us whether you are feeling happy, sad, anxious, or excited. All these emotions are handled by us in our daily lives and are also tied to our basic survival.
What Is Anger?
If we talk about Anger, it can easily be said that it is a normal emotion that can also be considered healthy. It cannot be classified as harmful. Like any other emotion or feeling, it conveys a message to others by familiarizing them with the situation that is upsetting, unjust, or threatening.
But if your reaction is to explode and shout, then your message gets lost somewhere in between and never gets conveyed.
While feeling angry is considered normal and healthy when you think that you have been mistreated or offended. This Anger might become a problem for you if it causes harm to you or people in your surroundings.
Anger can take place at any time when a particular person does not feel well, feel feelings of rejection, feel threatened or endangered, or experiencing or going through some kind of loss.
Anger can also be harmful to your body when it is frequently mobilized and keeps coming and going in the long term. It can ruin your relationships, because you stress that, when accompanied by Anger, can cause serious harm to your overall health. You can also have symptoms like short-term memory and weaken the immune system.
So, Anger cannot always result in harm?
Anger cannot always result in harm. Being angry and venting out your Anger can help you get all the negative thoughts out of your head and share your concerns. It can also, at times, motivate you to do something positive and preventing others from identifying you as weak and walking all over you.
But the central part is how you manage your Anger and know when to seek help, all in a healthy way.
What causes people to get angry?
There can be various reasons why you feel Anger. There are many triggers for Anger, such as losing your patience with tiny things and experiencing circumstances where you think that your opinions are regarded as worthless or your efforts aren’t appreciated. Sometimes even some kind of memories of traumatic and infuriating events may be a reason for your Anger.
These kinds of injustices can sometimes be challenging. Sometimes Anger may be a result of you worrying about your personal problems too.
You also have unique anger triggers; based on what you were taught to expect from yourself, you might think that this is a way to earn people’s respect or gain it, but in reality, Anger is much more likely to have a negative impact on the way people see you, spoil your judgment, and get in the form of your success.
Anger is not an issue and may not be treated as one if you know how to manage it and take control over it. It is considered a positive emotion that helps you work through issues or problems, whether that’s is at your workplace or personal home environment.
Anger may be addressed as a problem if it leads to aggression, outbursts, or even physical altercations. Therefore, it is necessary that you should be aware of it and know when to seek help.
Knowing how to control your Anger is essential as it helps you avoid saying something that you may regret later.
i-Kare treatment centers know how to turn your problems around and teach your abilities to control your emotions and Anger before this turns into a vicious cycle.
What are the symptoms of an anger problem?
Some indications that your Anger is not normal and may indicate that you need help and include:
- anger that affects your relationships with your loved ones and social or work life
- feeling that you have to keep inside or hold within yourself in your Anger
- If you feel like you constantly think negative and focus only on negative experiences
- continuously feeling annoyed, irritated, and aggressive
- getting into an argument with others on a regular basis and getting angrier in the process
- being physically violent when you’re angry
- threatening violence to people or their property
- an inability to control your Anger and letting it take control over you
- feeling obliged to do or doing violent or rash things because you feel angry, such as driving irresponsibly or destroying things to calm your Anger down
- Staying far from a particular situation that you know may result in your angry outbursts
Anger can be dangerous and has the power to take control over you; it can be complicated and takes plenty of self-awareness and self-control to manage your feelings and Anger. These skills are time-consuming and are a true challenge.
Self-awareness is the skill to recognize what you’re feeling and thinking and having a skeptical mind. Handling or managing your Anger doesn’t mean that you will never be able to experience Anger. It instead includes learning how to identify, cope with, and express your Anger in healthy and dynamic ways, which may prove to be productive.
Having self-control is all about thinking before you speak or act. Giving thought and thinking about your actions and the results after takes only some precious seconds or minutes between feeling a strong emotion and taking an action that you might regret in the future.
When you have self-awareness and self-control put together, it allows you to have to think before you act when you are going through such intense emotions like Anger.
Realizing & Getting Ready to Make a Change
When you make the tough decision of not letting Anger take over you, it typically means that you realize and take a hard look over the way you have been reacting with other people when you experience the feelings of Anger and get out of control.
You do not even have the intention of hurting other people or yelling or say disrespectful things. But it just happens, and it’s okay once you realize that you need help in controlling all of these situations and bringing them in control.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Do you throw things when you are in a state of Anger?
- Kick or punch walls to show your Anger?
- Break stuff? Hit someone, hurt yourself, or push and shove others around to show them that you are angry?
Anger that is not in your control can have grave consequences and take a toll on your physical and mental health. It can also destroy your relationships with your loved ones, and you will be taking your career down the road.
Most people who face quite a lot of trouble harnessing a hot temper, reacting like this is not what they actually desire. They feel humiliated and embarrassed by their behavior and don’t think it reflects the true natural person that they are from the inside, their best selves.
Everyone has the ability to change but only when they actually decide that they want to. If you’re going to make a significant change in how you’re treating your Anger, reflect upon what you will be able to gain from that particular change. Not forgetting why you want to make the change can help.
The Approach to Handling Your Anger Issues
If a certain kind of event takes place that makes you feel angry, this Five-step approach can help you manage your reaction. It’s known as a problem-solving approach because you initiate the problem that brings you to this condition.
Then you look at what your choices would be and come up with a decision on what you will do.
Each step includes asking yourself a few questions, then responding and reacting to them based on your unique situation.
Let’s consider this particular example:
A party is being held at your friend’s place, but your mom didn’t allow you to go and asked you to clean your room first or stay at home. Eventually, your Anger starts boiling up, and here’s what you need to do:
Identify the problem first.
You should instead start observing and notice what you will be angry about and the reason behind it. You can also start by putting into words about making you come into the state of Anger so that rather than reacting to this situation, you may be able to handle this situation productively.
Asking yourself a few questions, such as what actually got me so angry? What is this emotion that I am feeling, and why? You can choose to do this either in your mind or out loud, but you should keep in mind that it needs to be clear and specific.
For instance, in the above situation, you might be feeling angry at your mother because she wouldn’t allow you to go to the party unless the room is cleaned. You may also think that it is unfair and some kind of injustice took place.
This emotion that you are feeling is Anger.
Think of possible solutions before responding to anything
In this step, you will stop for a minute before reacting and think about your next move and the consequences that it will carry to manage your Anger.
This is also where you ask yourself what you would do? In this situation, you should think of at least three things. For instance, you might think:
- I could start yelling at my mother and throw a fit.
- I could begin cleaning my room and then ask for her permission if I could go to the party.
- I could sneak out to the party without letting her know.
Consider the consequences that would take the place of each solution.
In this step, you would think about what is likely to result from each of your different reactions you came up with.
What will be the result of each one of these choices? For example:
- Yelling at your mom may result in even worse situations and even worse trouble or even grounded.
- Cleaning your room may take a lot of your time, and you may get to the party late. With this choice, you had the opportunity to go to the party and even your room is all cleaned up, so you don’t need to worry about it for quite some time.
- It is near to impossible that you get away for a few hours with no one noticing. And with this situation, you are even more likely to get caught. So it’s better to look out!
Make a decision by picking the best option.
In this step, you are most likely to take action by picking one of the three things you could do. Look at the list that is either right in front of you or your mind and choose the one that is likely to be most effective and the most beneficial for you.
What’s could be my best option? By the time you’ve thought it through, you’re perhaps are past yelling at your mother, which could make the situation even worse and is a spontaneous response.
You may have also been confident that sneaking out is too risky for you and might also get you in much more serious trouble. Neither of these options would get you to the party.
So the second option perhaps looks like the best choice that you would come up with.
Once you choose your solution how you react, then it’s time to act appropriately.
It’s important to check your progress
After you have performed your action, it is now to reflect upon your decision and think and spend some time over this situation thinking about how it went.
What was my progress? Did things work out okay as I predicted?
If not, then why not, and what was the reason behind it? Am I pleased with the choice that I made? Taking some time to ponder how things turned out after the situation is all over is a significant step. It helps you explore yourself, and it lets you test which approaches work best in these types of different and unique situations.
Why Manage Anger
Anger is the kind of emotion that can range from slight irritation to powerful and strong rage. While many people think of Anger as a negative emotion, it can be positive when dealt with productively. Feelings of Anger may also motivate you to stake a stand for something and lead you to create a social change.
But when left untreated and without any help, these feelings of Anger can lead you to unforeseen circumstances and violent behavior, like yelling at someone or destroying someone’s property.
This kind of feeling may also let you withdraw from the world and turn your Anger inward by hiding your feelings which can impact your health and social wellbeing.
Anger becomes challenging when it’s felt too frequently or too deeply or when it’s expressed and communicated in unhealthy ways, which can take a toll on your mental health, also physically and socially.
Because of this, anger management strategies and plans can be valuable and can help you ascertain healthy and productive ways to express your feelings in the best way possible.
Know When to Get Help
If you fail to manage your Anger, it can lead you to numerous problems. Like you may say things to someone you might regret later. For instance, like yelling at your kids for no reason, threatening your co-workers with your aggressive behavior, sending rash emails, developing health problems that may be hazardous for your physical and mental wellbeing. Or even making way to physical violence.
Managing your Anger does not mean that you may never get angry. It involves learning and exploring, coping with and expressing your Anger is much more healthy and productive.
Anger management is the kind of skill that everyone can be aware of and learn. Even if you think that you now have your Anger under control, there can always be some improvement.
If you think it is time for you to finally get some help and address your Anger, alcoholism, addiction, or other mental health disorders, then you are at the right place. At i-Kare Treatment Center, we believe in you, and we know you can turn things around for yourself; and we’re here with you every step of the way to help you do just that.
We offer the best treatment plans for addressing the challenges that may help you overcome them all. Your bright future starts the minute you know when to get help. Call (561) 331-8453 to take back control of your life.